What We Could Share
by CanadianGlambertLove
Summary: A lot has changed since his arrival as Adam's servant. Two Years after his last visit, Adam tries to bring his true love back into his life. Only now it's not as easy. Decisions must be made. But every choice made can cost more than one future. Saulibert. Adam Lambert/Sauli Koskinen. Rated M for REASONS! Sequel to Just The Way It Is
1. You Had To Grow, I had To Go

_**YES I'M BACK FOR NOW! I can't make any promises, but I assure you I will upload as often as I can. **_

_**Anyways, yes. This is the sequel to Just The Way It Is. A lot has changed. I'm not gonna talk anymore, it's time for the story to begin/continue.**_

_**BTW, the first chapter is Adam's POV**_

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><p>"Thomas." I called calm, walking down the hall from my chambers.<p>

He turned, nodding once with a smile while I approached him. "Good morning, Adam. How did you sleep?" I shrugged, resting a hand on his back while I joined him on his walk.

"I believe I should be glad." I smiled, trying to think further than my lack of downtime, "All this business is finally put to _rest_; Neil is no longer a problem, our new servants will be here in a week…"

"It's a good thing we have that empty wing…" he added, turning down to the hall that would eventually lead to the garden. "Maybe it would be wise to find volunteers to share rooms with the new ones, maybe it can make the change a bit easier if they are close with someone who knows the ropes."

"We'll need to take down names and what their job was before, so they can stay with something familiar. But we should get back to it tomorrow." I assured, dropping my hand from his back, "Today is a day to relax and enjoy." With that I stopped, smiling down at him, "So I'll leave you." he bowed his head as a goodbye and I turned, walking down the opposite direction. I guess I could stop by the library and grab a book on my way to the roof. I'd spent most of my free time up there, no matter the time of day, and last year I decided to build a shelter and add a few lawn chairs.

I mean, if you're going to spend an unnecessary amount of time somewhere, might as well be comfortable.

"Adam?" I hear him call to me once more and I turned back, seeing something almost gleam in his eyes. "Maybe… since everything is done…" I raised a brow, waiting for him to continue, "It seems you have the time… You could take a trip… visit an old friend..?" My smile faded, dropping my gaze to his feet. "You haven't seen him in a while. I'm sure he misses you…"

I nodded once, turning once more and continuing my walk. I felt a tug at my gut suddenly, guilt boiling in me while I walked. When I'd been brought to court to speak about what had gone on with Neil over the years, which took about a year to finally settle with. Then there came the arrangement with what would happen from then on, where his son would go, _yadda yadda_. Every single day I was busy and I couldn't even write because I didn't know Sauli's address…

I missed him. I missed his voice. I missed his face, his touch…

I missed… just… his presence.

If I went now I'm sure he wouldn't want to see me. I'd left him and I didn't so much as write a damn letter. I didn't deserve his presence or so much as to look at him. I deserved any punishment in store. But if I didn't go, things would only get worse…

There was a knock at my door and I groaned turning my face into my pillow. The door clicked open and soon footsteps walked across the room, then I felt something semi-light land on my back.

"I thought it was my week off…" I growled into the pillow, turning my head and opening my eyes. When they adjusted I saw Tommy standing before me, arms crossed, one brow raised, lips pursed to the side. "What did I do?"

"Get up." He ordered, "Get dressed." He walked across to the door, turning back to me, "The jet is waiting and I don't care if I need to drag you there." I raised a brow, sitting up to find a set of clothes on top of me. "Be out as soon as possible. You can brush once we land, I packed both brushes." About to protest, he threw a finger up, shutting his eyes, "If I hear one word out of that mouth other than '_fine_' I'll drag you in whatever it is you may or may _not_ be wearing, so. Help. Me."

At that I shut my trap once more, staring wide at him. "Now get dressed." He called, slipping out with a few last words, "I'll be right outside this door."

I sighed, grabbing the shirt and standing from the bed, starting to dress. My eyes drifted to the shelf above my headboard, staring softly at the one book laid on its side. I sighed again, dropping my gaze, slipping my pants on.

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><p><em><strong>I should explain, even though I've done so many times before in fics, that I am NOT fluent in anything but English. So if any of my lovely Finland readers notice an error in my attempt of Suomi, please leave in the comments andor please accept my sincerest apologies. **_

_**I need Rosetta Stone. **_

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><p>Pulling up in front of Sauli's apartment I tensed, hands shaking just a little. What would I say? What would <em>he<em> say? What if he slammed the door in my face the second he saw me? What if he wasn't even home?! What if he moved? If he did, had Sara left with him?

"You okay?" I hear Tommy whisper to me.

My jaw clenched, "I haven't seen him in two years." I whispered, "How can he stand to see me now?"

"It's better late than never." He replied, resting a hand on my back and I turned to him, leaning in to leave a chaste, gentle kiss on his plump lips. "Now go." He whispered, nudging at my chest with a half smile. I nodded, opening the door and slipping out, walking up the steps and into the building, going straight to the front desk.

"Neiti?" I called to the woman standing behind the desk, "_Koskinen_. Ovatko he täällä?" With a bright smile she nodded, giving me the floor and room number in case I didn't know it and I nodded to her, walking to the elevator. As soon as I entered I punched in the floor number and leaned back against the wall, watching the door close.

The whole ride up all I thought of was what I was going to say to Sauli once I saw him, but nothing that came to mind sounded good enough. But what could I say? I've been gone two years without even telling him why! I saw him once a month for six months and then I got stuck with this fucking case with a man I called my brother once...

Fuck.

When did I get to his door?

When the fuck was I out of the elevator?

Oh Rah…

On the bright side, maybe I could get to see Sara as well! Whenever I visited before I saw a glimpse of her or was told she was sleeping or out. Whenever I asked about her he'd give me the same short 'she's fine' and would shut me down if I asked anything more. I wanted to know what he was hiding, but I always feared it would cause a fight and ruin the whole night.

Just as I knocked on the door I hear a muffled voice, footsteps nearing the door and soon the knob was turning. My breath caught in my throat for a moment, but I let it go just as the door clicked open, my eyes softening. When they connected with his bright blue ones I almost fell to my knees at the beauty, fighting back tears as they widened.

But the moment passed too soon and his gaze dropped, gripping the door about to slam it. My expression faded and my eyes widened, slipping my foot in the door so he couldn't close it. He groaned loudly, trying to kick my foot out the door multiple times. But to no avail.

With a loud huff he let go, looking back to be. "What are you doing here?"

"I can explain." I assured.

He sneered. "I don't need any of your excuses-"

"The last thing I'd ever do is lie to you." I replied, opening the door more and slipping in.

"Well you already did." He retorted, crossing his arms, "Now, if you don't mind, I'm a little busy."

"Doing what?" I asked.

"None of your business!" he hissed, though trying to keep his voice low, "Now can you please go-"

"It's been two years and I'm not even getting so much as a fucking '_hello_'?" I raised a brow.

"You're the one who disappeared without so much as a note." He hissed, "Now get out of my house-"

"Can you please just let me explain-?"

"Daddy!" I hear a small voice call from down the hall and my expression faded, staring at him. Suddenly a small child, a little girl, ran down the hall right into Sauli's leg, wrapping her short arms just above the knee. My eyes softened at the young girl, seeing her semi-long curly brown hair, bright blue eyes, slight freckles on her arms and nose. Since when did brunettes have freckles…?

Her eyes met mine and she smiled close-mouthed, making it hard not to return it. I waved, flapping my fingertips against my palm as my smile widened, watching her do the same. When Sauli sighed my gaze lifted back to his, watching him turn and crouch in front of her, his eyes softening. "Amara, katsella televisiota. Olen siellä toisessa!" she nodded, turning and running(hopping, really) back down the hall. I chuckled as I watched her disappear, but when I looked back to my love my smile faded.

"I'm guessing this isn't just babysitting…" I mused, crossing my arms. "What's her name?"

"Amara." He replied in almost a whisper, "And if you're wondering, technically she is not mine."

"Then why is she calling you '_daddy_'?" I asked with a slight smirk.

"Because as far as she's concerned, I'm her father and legal guardian. I have been since birth."

"Who's her mother?" I continued, looking past him for a moment, "More importantly, _where_ is her mother?"

His finely chiseled jaw clenched, gaze falling, "My sister." He whispered, "And she's dead." My expression faded once more, eyes widening a little, "Thanks to your brother…"

"Neil?" my brows furrowed, "What does _he_ have to do with this?"

"For starters, as I was for you, she was his little _play thing_. Only problem is, I was living in much better conditions than her and I wasn't at risk of _pregnancy_…" he sneered, looking back to me, "So to answer another question, yes, she is biologically his daughter and your niece. Happy now?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"How could I? She was born in November and the last time I saw you was September, two fucking years ago-"

"I'm sorry." I assured, "But it's not my fault. I swear-" he scoffed, turning to walk away. But I gripped his bicep, turning him back to me, "Please don't shut me out." I begged in a soft voice, "I didn't know."

"I wonder why." He snared, trying to pull out of my grasp only to fail.

"Look," I explained, releasing him but standing close, "if it's okay with you, you two can come stay with me. I can have someone watch over her while we talk."

"Why should I?" he whispered, tears building in his eyes.

"Because you'll never be happy unless you know the truth." I concluded, watching a single tear drop from his eye, but before I could reach for him he wiped it on his own, sniffling.

"Fine." He agreed, "But I'm not leaving tonight. It's getting late and I need to put her to bed in a few hours after dinner."

I nodded, gaze alternating between his newly slightly puffy eyes. "Is it alright if I join you?" it took a long moment of silence, but he nodded, leading me down the hall, past the living room where I saw the little girl cross-legged in front of the television on a baby blue blanket, then into the kitchen. "What are we having?" I asked, trying to make things a little less tense.

"Fish." He replied, "You can sit down if you like." I smiled, walking over to the table and pulling out one of two chairs, sitting down and watching him prepare. "If you want, you can stay the night instead of finding some hotel. I'm sure your advisor wouldn't mind." He glanced over to me, smirking slightly, "but you'd have to take the couch."

"The couch is fine." I assured, "As long as I can make sure you don't skip town just to avoid me."

He chuckled, carrying two plates to the table, then getting another one and setting that down, "You're not that important to run from…" He turned his head, calling out to the girl in the livingroom, "Amara, illallinen!" Soon I heard a pitter-patter of quick footsteps and suddenly she appeared into the kitchen, reaching her arms up at Sauli. He gripped both her sides, lifting her into the air and setting her down in her chair across from mine, where a little booster-seat was attached with a small table.

She looked to me, smiling again and waving just as we'd done earlier. I did the same, smiling warmly as Sauli sat on the one free chair and grabbed a fork, taking a small piece of fish and feeding it to the girl. She held her smile as she chewed, bouncing a little in her chair. Sauli laughed and my smile widened, "So she likes fish!" I mused.

"It's her favorite." He replied, "Which is a good thing, since they are plentiful here." She stopped bouncing once she swallowed, opening her mouth as a sign for more.

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><p><em><strong>Please leave a comment on your thoughts, follow, favourite, all that goodness! I'm really out of it right now, so don't blame me for being so frank about everything. I was waiting for the longest time to get my computer fixed just to be able to upload fics again! Even so, with school, job searching, and extracurricular activities(it's 2 temporary things. I'm not special), I won't be able to upload as often as I'd like. I will TRY to upload once every 1-2 weeks.<strong>_

_**With that, I leave you.**_


	2. You Were The First

**_Yaaaas, chapter 2! Also, this first part is Sauli's POV._**

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><p>"Goodnight my angel." I whispered, kissing her forehead, spreading her chocolate hair along the pillow.<p>

"Who that man?" she asked, staring up at me as I pulled away. "Why he here?"

I sighed, "He's an old friend." I whispered, "And we're going to stay at his house for a bit. Don't you like him?"

"Do you like him?" she asked with a smile, "We go live with him?" I chuckled, shaking my head at her and she poked her lip out in a frown, "Why not?"

"You've just met him and already you want to live with him?" I raised a brow.

"He's nice!" she replied, snuggling close to her stuffed teddy. "Otso like him." I chuckled, kissing the tip of her nose and standing from the bed.

"Otso likes everyone." I assured, walking to the door and turning back to her once more, turning off the light. "Rakastan Sinua, baby."

She smiled, eyes falling shut. "Rakastan sinua, daddy." She whispered, slowly slipping into a deep sleep. My smile softened as well as my eyes, slowly closing her door, waiting for the soft click before I released the handle and walked down the hall to the living room. When I saw Adam I fought back a smile, sitting on the couch while he stared out the window, looking up at the night sky.

"She's asleep." I said and he turned, blue eyes softening when they locked with mine.

"She's adorable." He whispered and I smiled, looking to my lap for a moment. He only chuckled at me, sitting next to me on the couch, "How old is she?"

"She'll be two in a month…" he nodded, gaze drifting as he began to think. "She was born a month early." I whispered, "Something happened during pregnancy that caused Sara to go into early labor. Even before then, she'd been sick, but she never let me take her to hospital…"

"Was she sick when she was in labour?" he asked. I nodded, looking to him again.

"When I found out she didn't make it, I broke down." I breathed, "I was so terrified Amara wouldn't make it either…" My gaze dropped again, "I couldn't even talk to anyone. It just got worse knowing my sister, who I just learned about not so many months before, was gone."

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked and I looked back to him once more, "Every time I came to visit, you always told me she was out or sleeping and every time I asked about her you shoved it off. Why didn't you tell me?"

"She made me promise not to." I explained, "I wanted to tell you, believe me! But I couldn't break my promise to her. And then you just stopped coming…"

"I know." He sighed, "I'm sorry for that. But I'll explain once we're back home."

I raised a brow, then scoffed, standing from the couch and walking to the window, staring out at the city in front of me. "Your home. Remember?"

"It was yours once…" he replied, standing from the couch, coming up behind me and gently resting a hand on my back. My eyes slipped shut at his touch, memories flashing in the blink of an eye. Like they were only moments ago. "It was our home." He whispered, his warm breath on the back of my neck and I shivered, leaning into his touch. His back was brushing against mine in slow breaths, both hands resting on my waist and suddenly my breaths became uneasy having him this close, alone…

"And I was once yours…" I breathed. Tenderly he gripped my chin and my eyes opened as he turned my head, staring into his. Slowly he leaned in, his breath on my lips, my eyes alternating between his and his lips while he did the same. His lips lightly pressed to mine, kissing me softly and my eyes slipped shut, kissing back.

I turned in his arms, both hands resting on his chest as his arms wrapped around me, pulling me against him. Our kiss deepened and my hands ran past his shoulders and neck, tangling into his hair and tugging roughly. He growled into my lips, kissing harder and suddenly my back was against the window, legs wrapped around Adam's waist, his hips pressing into mine. I gasped from the coolness on my burning skin, staring up at him. But after only a glance he kissed me again, pulling me off the glass and moving to the couch, sitting on his shins with me on top of him.

I tugged again on his hair, hips instinctively bucking into his and he gasped into my lips, moving to my neck and sucking hard, nipping at my skin. I bucked again, rubbing against him slowly, moaning as his lips attacked my neck. Everything began moving so fast yet so slow at the same time and the only thing processing through my mind was the physical position I was in. I shouldn't be doing this. I have a child sleeping just down the hall, and I was about to go much too far with a man I hadn't seen or spoken to in over two years.

But this wasn't just some man.

He never was and would never be.

This was Adam…

But that still didn't change the situation and the fact I could no longer do things like this. Not when I have Amara…

"Stop." I breathed. But he either didn't hear me or didn't want to. "Adam, we- ah!" I whined as his hands were suddenly squeezing my cheeks, making me buck hard into him, his hips lifting, pushing more into mine. Fuck, this felt so good. I could feel my strength slowly withering away from the friction, but I couldn't stop thinking of Amara. The fact she might hear us. The thought of her being around Adam, a man she and I barely knew at this point. I couldn't risk something harming her and what was about to happen if I didn't stop this could ensure I'd be doing just that…

Pressing both palms to his chest I pushed hard, too hard, breaking away from his touch and causing myself to fall from his lap, landing on the carpeted floor. He slipped from the couch to his knees, reaching to me. "Are you alright?" he asked, but I crawled backwards to get further away from him, hand pressing over my burning neck where he was once kissing. "Sauli-"

"I can't." I replied, eyes planted on the bulge sticking out of my pants, breathing heavily. His eyes softened, reaching for me again, but I turned away from him, refusing, "I'm sorry but I can't-"

"I won't try anything." He assured me, standing to his feet, never dropping his invitation. "Just let me help you up." For a long moment I stared at his hand, contemplating. Eventually I sighed, gripping it with my own and letting him help me to my feet, then quickly letting go and walking over to the hall closet and pulling out a few blankets, walking back to the couch and setting them down. I grabbed the two small pillows and set them on the chair on the other wall, then rushed to my bedroom to grab two pillows out of the many set out on my bed.

Soon enough I returned to the living room and set them on top of the blankets, muttering a soft "sleep well." Before he gripped my wrist, stopping me from leaving. My gaze snapped to meet his, a little off guard by how soft his eyes had become. "What?" I asked, trying to pull out of his grasp.

"Don't do that." He protested, "Don't get all pissed off and disappear."

"I'm not." I retorted, pulling again, but still he wouldn't let go.

"Please." He begged, pulling me a little closer, "If you don't want me to kiss you or whatever, I won't. I promise. Just don't walk away angry…"

My gaze dropped, nodding once as I breathed a faint "Fine." I looked back to him, slowly waiting as he released my wrist, "Can I go now?" His jaw clenched, nodding. "Goodnight, Adam." I whispered, taking a step back.

"Goodnight, Sauli." He whispered, watching as I turned to leave.

Almost out of sight I turned back to him, "It gets cold." I warned, "If you need another blanket, they're in the closet 'cause there's lots of them." He smiled faint, nodding and with that I walked down the hall, passing my room to check Amara's just to find her still fast asleep. I smiled and my eyes softened, closing her door once more and heading back to my room.

Quickly I changed into my pajama pants and slipped into bed, grabbing one long, puffed pillow and hugging it to my bare chest, resting my head on top as my eyes slipped shut, slowly, agonizingly slow, falling into a deep sleep.


End file.
